A Buddhist Monks perspective on why we feel disconnected from each other
The content of this blogpost is part of a larger interview with the Australian Buddhist and former Monk, David Marks. On why so many people nowadays feel so disconnected and experience an existential crisis, he shared the following.
I think that at some stage, most people go through an existential crisis, and often it’s the absence of spiritual nourishment. That absence causes a feeling of existential despair. When you are young, it’s all about having fun. That’s good in a way because it’s our world and culture, and we need to explore it. We are looking for happiness. But in our world, it is always outside of ourselves. Maybe that is why at a certain point — for the people who have a strong spiritual calling — it can start to feel pointless, superficial. Without nourishing the spiritual side, one can feel quite depressed and hopeless. It could feel like the world doesn’t have anything to offer anymore.
I think deep down, we’re all spiritual beings, and to be whole and complete, we need to connect with that aspect of ourselves. The main purpose of religion and spiritual practice is to help us develop our inner goodness, compassion, and wisdom. In Buddhism, we call it Buddha-nature. If we don’t connect to our inner divine, there’s no way to properly relate to the outer divine — whether we call that Buddha or God or Allah or anything else. As we open up more and accept and nourish our inner qualities so too, we are able to experience a deeper connection with the external forces of goodness that pervade the universe.
In order to feel more connected and less lonely, I believe we need to learn to open our hearts to others in a really authentic way and to connect with others. We are human beings. If we don’t relate and connect to each other in a wholesome way, it will be like a seed of happiness that remains within us but never gets watered, so it just withers and dies. The loneliness, anxiety, and alienation that so many people experience are mostly related to the inability to open our hearts and to give and receive love from others. So to engage with others in a positive way is of fundamental importance. But in order to do that, we first have to engage with ourselves in an extremely good-hearted, loving, kind, and authentic way.
We need to develop ourselves to relate well to others and have empathy with others and help others in the best way that we can. We need help from others, and others need help from us. That sense of connectedness is so important. The more kindness, love, and compassion we can generate from within, the more we are able to extend that to others. At the same time, we ourselves also become happier.
It is almost like that we are obsessed with being in love. It transcends religion, race, and culture. People share love with their partners and friends, and parents, and children. That feeling of love gives rise to so much joy and happiness. It’s that absence of love that is the source of all loneliness and unhappiness. The more we are able to love, the more happiness we experience, the more happiness we share with others.
All credits to David Marks. Thank you for sharing your wise words.
